Tonya came closer than I felt
comfortable with today. She..nearly tempted me into something after I
had been sort of teasing her with this new body of mine. The biggest
issue is that I really know how to flirt with her because I am
attracted to her, so that means that the body actually helps me do
it. That is a dangerous combination as it got me a little to close to
doing something sexual. I am not afraid of sex, I just do not want to
go down that road yet. I need to be more in control, more sure of
things before I let it happen.
Nothing was more clear than a few
minutes ago where I had literally gotten Tonya to strip for me in
front of her camera. So I still have the ability to control others
but still it is my personal control that scares and eludes me. I mean
I am more controlled than Bree, Olivia or Tonya, but still I need to
be more assured that when I go down that road that I will be the one
holding the reins and not my body.
To show my body who is boss, I took a
picture without makeup:
Also, Bree and Tonya are going to be having a beach photo shoot tomorrow so the two of them can begin the modeling life. So at least in my professional life things are going quite good.
Good night lovelies!
- Carolyn
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